Sunday 6 July 2014.
Another cold morning, another game of 3 sided football.
Atletico Geometry were without a win – could it finally be their morning? The All Sartres with just one win were several members short, so their prospects didn’t seem great. Pythagoras, at the head of the table with 2 wins, the odds with them and almost their full team available, seemed the team most likely.
Andrew F had settled into his role as referee so well, that he began enforcing rules that nobody else knew existed. Also, the goals suddenly appeared smaller than in previous games. Was this tactical? Who would it advantage? Was Andrew F sick of so many goals being scored? Was he suffering from RSI as he scribbled the scores down?
Boundaries were set (physically, metaphorically and, happily, metaphysically), corners and throw-ins explained and a Go Pro popped on Andrew’s head as a secondary source of rule enforcement.
The first third played out slowly at first, the Pys defending well and both the Geometers and the Sartres managing to score impressive own goals. The Pys scored the remaining 2 goals, and were not scored against.
The scores evened up in the second third, which included yet another own goal, this time to the Pys, and a much more evenly distributed scoring display, where each team scored against at least one of the others.
Lily went off midway through the term after Dick, her team mate, preposterously and blindly slammed the ball into her face. The crowd, had there been one, would’ve let him know their disappointment, and his shame can only ever be underestimated.
Minutes later, Dick managed to slam the ball into another team mate’s face, this time Anthony, who had transferred from the Pys to the Sartres for this game, causing him to bite his tongue, his most potent weapon.
Meanwhile, for the Geometers, Lawrence scored his first goal – to much celebration.
Early in the final term Anthony, looking for revenge, but misplacing it, managed to sail the ball into Damien’s face, causing a cut above the right eye where his glasses had embedded themselves. He soldiered on without complaint, and contributed to a solid Pys’ defence.
At the close of the term, the Sartres had lost, but who had won?
Well, this was our first tie. Under the rules, according to Andrew F, ties are settled by the team
who scored the most goals. Own goals being discounted, this left the Pys with 5 and Atletico Geometry with 3.
The winners of round 4, therefore, were the Pys, despite the elegance of their opponents. Probably justified actually, given the rough treatment dished out to Trevor of the Pys towards the end of the game by a maroon shirt who shall remain nameless.
Damien – eye
Lily – cheek
Anthony – tongue