All Sartres Pick Up Where They Left Off

The All Sartres have kicked off the 2015 Autumn season with a win, following their Spring Premiership in 2014.

Each team managed to field 3 players each, but are hoping to increase numbers as the season rolls on.

All prospective players 15 and over are welcome to participate. If you’re interested in coming down for a game you’ll find it’s fun, competitive, occasionally hard work and completely unintimidating (the game is largely populated by hacks in their 40s).

Come and see us on Sunday 15 March at 10am at St Kilda Primary School oval.

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3 Sided Football Resumes this Sunday

The Lush St Kilda Primary School Pitch

The long awaited return of Australia’s inaugural 3-Sided Football competition returns this Sunday.

Can the St Kilda All Sartres pick up from where they left off with a premiership in the Spring competition, can Pythagoras 3FC return to winter premiership form, or can Atletico Geometry begin their quest for an elusive first title?  Impossible to tell really.

3-Sided football, with its philosophical and mathematical origins (which are largely disregarded once the boots are pulled on) will resume at 10am on the picture perfect St Kilda Primary School oval on the corner of Chapel St and Brighton Rd St Kilda.

Be there to participate, watch and shout abuse.  All welcome. See our ‘About’ page for an overview.

Meanwhile, allow this game to inspire you:

 

 

All Sartres Take Out Spring Premiership

Sartre, cock-a-hoop, celebrates with a ciggie

The St Kilda All Sartres, with 3 consecutive wins to round out the season, have won the 2014 Spring Premiership over a gallant Atletico Geometry.

The Geometers won the first 2 games of the season, and could perhaps be forgiven for metaphorically running around the streets of St Kilda with their jerseys draped over their heads, or even metaphysically wondering whether they are actually in St Kilda at all, but whichever way you look at it, they took their eyes of the physical, metaphysical and metaphorical ball, and allowed the All Sartres to slip under the radar (metaphorically) and crack the season (metaphorically) wide open.

Meanwhile Pythagoras 3FC were caught with their metaphorical pants down and finished last without a win to their prestigious name.  Pythagoras would be furious. I can picture him now, slamming down his set square and storming off the pitch in search of an ouzo.

Spring Season Underway (actually, it’s nearly over)

St Kilda Primary School Oval in need of attention

Ok, the first 3 games of the 2014 Spring season have passed, and finally a blog post has arrived.

So, in summary:

Game One (back on 12 October on the by now hard and dry St Kilda primary school pitch), was an abolsute ripper, resulting in a 3-way tie between old rivals Pythagorus 3FC (-2), the St Kilda All Sartres (also -2) and Atletico Geometry (predictably, also on -2).  Atletico Geometry, the maroon bastards, finished with a win on countback (i.e. they kicked the most goals).

Game Two was equally ‘ripper’, or perhaps this one was a cracker but, and regardless of which superlative you choose, also had to be decided on countback following another tie, also at minus 2. Again, Atletico Geometry won.  You might be forgiven for thinking these games were in fact one game.  I’m here to tell you they weren’t because they took place on different dates.

Game Three, controversially relocated to Fawkner Park in South Yarra due to a camp out on the school oval (the disrespect is incredible, I think you’ll agree), was not a tie, and was not won by Atletico Geometry, making it easy to distinguish from the first two games, and it was also, conveniently, played on a different date.  This all assumes that you feel the need to differentiate the games.  I do, but perhaps that’s just me.  Anyway, the St Kilda All Sartres took this one out, conceding 3 goals but booting 7. Final scores were All Sartres (-3), Pythagoras (-4) and Geometers (-6).

So after 3 games Atletico Geometry sit atop the ladder with 2 wins, the All Sartres are second with 1 win, and Pythagoras, with a devastating premiership hangover, are on the bottom, winless.

Three-Sided Football Kicks Off in Melbourne

The players were as unprepared for this photos as they were for the intensity of 3-sided football.

A cold, Antarctic wind blew in from the south, rattling the windows and the bones of the 15 players who had earlier committed to play the first ever game of 3-sided football on Australian soil (possibly not true).

It seemed inevitable that the game would be cancelled as the rain pelted down in sheets.  Surely the commitment was tenuous at best.  A few emails, a handful of texts, this wasn’t enough to create a binding contract, surely? And it was 10 o’clock on a Sunday morning. Barnaby Chiverton must be, after all, out of his mind.

But turn up they did. Fifteen people, connected by their mutual acquaintance with Chiverton, arrived at a steady drip, wearing a diverse array of sporting outfits and staring dubiously at the ominous sky and the apparently randomly scattered bags that had been placed on the pitch as goalposts.

The only knowledge they had of 3-sided football was through an earlier exchange of fairly casual emails.  Nevertheless, there was an air of expectation, perhaps a whiff of excitement and, before they knew it, teams had been spontaneously selected based on where the players happened to be standing.  A quick briefing was subsequently trotted out and they were off, without uniform, whistle or referee.

The “All Sartres” got off to a good start, booting the first goal during a rush of confusion, before goals started being scored more regularly as players got the hang of the game, a feel for the ball and a familiarity with their teammates.

Pythagoras centre, Trevor, had begun imposing himself on the game, while All Sartre Kim K was proving a rock in defense.  Meanwhile Marcus’s mad dashes through the centre confused everybody.

Pythagoras’s Trevor and All Sartres’ Gavin race for the ball

All present needed constant reminding that it was goals conceded, not goals scored, that determined the winner.  At one-third time, “Pythagoras 3FC” had taken a narrow lead.

Pythagoras 3FC -3
Athletic Geometry -4
All Sartres -4

Players take a breather at one-third time, while Barnaby attempts to reiterate the rules

In the second third the pace quickened, the competitiveness intensified and all allusions to gentlemanly conduct were off the table, if they were ever on it. The scores ebbed and flowed as teams joined forces to score against whichever team was in the lead, and the lead itself changed regularly.

Mat’s hefty clearance from the Pythagoras goals sends players ducking for safety

The Sartres’ Gavin had begun scoring at will, Geometry’s Barnaby had begun to sort out his team’s attack and Mat was proving to be a brick wall in the Pythagoras goals. Meanwhile Andrew F had left the field with a suspect groin.

At the end of the second third, and pleasing to the mathematicians present, scores were level.

Pythagoras 3FC -7
Athletic Geometry -7
All Sartres -7

Anthony of “Pythagoras” and Marcus of “Geometry” have different ideas of which team will take the inaugural trophy

The third and final term opened with a surprise double-crossing by the Sartres’ Kim S, outraging the entire Geometry team who threatened immediate revenge.  Kim later conceded he may have “gone too early”.

Anthony and Ben were running out the game well for Pythagoras, Paula was proving a midfield enigma for Geometry while Lawrence held up the back end, and Sartres’ Dick went from hero to villain after lobbing through a long goal just prior to letting through a clever shot from Andrew S.

All Sartres’ Gavin attempts a header

All was confusion right until the final moments when Barnaby called ‘time’ and it appeared Pythagoras 3FC were the first ever winners of the trophy that is yet to be named.

The presence of several youngsters, Eric (Pythagoras), Jonah (Sartres), Hugo (Geometry) and later Fergus, Henry C and Jacob, injected some run and dash into the game.  A very special thanks must go to Serena for oranges, brownies and empanadas, and the All Sartres’ Saddy who sprinted down to the closest servo for ice, midway through the first third.

The final stats had proven a mathematical winner; 3 thirds of 30 minutes resulting in 30 goals scored.

Final Scores:

Pythagoras 3FC -9
Athletic Geometry -11
All Sartres -10

Injuries:

Marcus (knee)
Andrew F (groin)
Everyone Else (general soreness)

Pythagoras players Trevor and Mat celebrate the win by groaning in pain