Tag Archives: sartre

All Sartres Pick Up Where They Left Off

The All Sartres have kicked off the 2015 Autumn season with a win, following their Spring Premiership in 2014.

Each team managed to field 3 players each, but are hoping to increase numbers as the season rolls on.

All prospective players 15 and over are welcome to participate. If you’re interested in coming down for a game you’ll find it’s fun, competitive, occasionally hard work and completely unintimidating (the game is largely populated by hacks in their 40s).

Come and see us on Sunday 15 March at 10am at St Kilda Primary School oval.


3 Sided Football Resumes this Sunday

The Lush St Kilda Primary School Pitch

The Lush St Kilda Primary School Pitch

The long awaited return of Australia’s inaugural 3-Sided Football competition returns this Sunday.

Can the St Kilda All Sartres pick up from where they left off with a premiership in the Spring competition, can Pythagoras 3FC return to winter premiership form, or can Atletico Geometry begin their quest for an elusive first title?  Impossible to tell really.

3-Sided football, with its philosophical and mathematical origins (which are largely disregarded once the boots are pulled on) will resume at 10am on the picture perfect St Kilda Primary School oval on the corner of Chapel St and Brighton Rd St Kilda.

Be there to participate, watch and shout abuse.  All welcome. See our ‘About’ page for an overview.

Meanwhile, allow this game to inspire you:



All Sartres Take Out Spring Premiership


Sartre, cock-a-hoop, celebrates with a ciggie

The St Kilda All Sartres, with 3 consecutive wins to round out the season, have won the 2014 Spring Premiership over a gallant Atletico Geometry.

The Geometers won the first 2 games of the season, and could perhaps be forgiven for metaphorically running around the streets of St Kilda with their jerseys draped over their heads, or even metaphysically wondering whether they are actually in St Kilda at all, but whichever way you look at it, they took their eyes of the physical, metaphysical and metaphorical ball, and allowed the All Sartres to slip under the radar (metaphorically) and crack the season (metaphorically) wide open.

Meanwhile Pythagoras 3FC were caught with their metaphorical pants down and finished last without a win to their prestigious name.  Pythagoras would be furious. I can picture him now, slamming down his set square and storming off the pitch in search of an ouzo.

Spring Season Underway (actually, it’s nearly over)


St Kilda Primary School Oval in need of attention

Ok, the first 3 games of the 2014 Spring season have passed, and finally a blog post has arrived.

So, in summary:

Game One (back on 12 October on the by now hard and dry St Kilda primary school pitch), was an abolsute ripper, resulting in a 3-way tie between old rivals Pythagorus 3FC (-2), the St Kilda All Sartres (also -2) and Atletico Geometry (predictably, also on -2).  Atletico Geometry, the maroon bastards, finished with a win on countback (i.e. they kicked the most goals).

Game Two was equally ‘ripper’, or perhaps this one was a cracker but, and regardless of which superlative you choose, also had to be decided on countback following another tie, also at minus 2. Again, Atletico Geometry won.  You might be forgiven for thinking these games were in fact one game.  I’m here to tell you they weren’t because they took place on different dates.

Game Three, controversially relocated to Fawkner Park in South Yarra due to a camp out on the school oval (the disrespect is incredible, I think you’ll agree), was not a tie, and was not won by Atletico Geometry, making it easy to distinguish from the first two games, and it was also, conveniently, played on a different date.  This all assumes that you feel the need to differentiate the games.  I do, but perhaps that’s just me.  Anyway, the St Kilda All Sartres took this one out, conceding 3 goals but booting 7. Final scores were All Sartres (-3), Pythagoras (-4) and Geometers (-6).

So after 3 games Atletico Geometry sit atop the ladder with 2 wins, the All Sartres are second with 1 win, and Pythagoras, with a devastating premiership hangover, are on the bottom, winless.

Pythagoras 3FC Takes Out the 2014 Winter Trophy







With 4 wins from 7 games, Pythagoras 3FC has taken out the inaugural St Kilda 3 Sided Football trophy.  Someone needs to come up with a more concise name for it.  Perhaps the STK3SFT.  Anyway, they are the champions despite, during the last few games of the season,  missing star forward Trevor to immigration control.

The All Sartres came in a distant second with 2 wins, and the Geometers floundered on the bottom with just 1.  Although, really, and completely objectively, there wasn’t much in it.

By the way, it’s important to note a few things.  Firstly, the previous post alluded to the game played on 27 July being the penultimate of the winter season.  Turns out it wasn’t.  Nobody knows who to blame, but somehow a total of 7 games were played, and nobody really noticed.

Furthermore, Pythagoras officially won the premiership way back on 7 September, but I’d forgotten my wordpress log-in details and have only just remembered the very long and convoluted password which, at the time, I thought was ingenious but, as it happens, was way too clever for me to remember.  So, you know, I had to go through all the rigmarole of ordering another password through the mail.  After weeks of checking the letterbox, it turns out they meant email.  The information superhighway continues to surprise and delight.

Stay tuned for an update, because there are 2 important things that have happened:

1. Referee Andrew F (who has, confusingly, decided to start playing and referring at the same time) has introduced a raft of new rules, inspired by the changes happening at international league headquarters in London.  I won’t give the game away just yet (although those of you who played last weekend will have an inkling), but one of the major rule changes involves hands.

Huh, I might even create a new page on this blog outlining the rules.  That’s a great idea, Dick.  Thanks.

2. The first 2 games of the Spring season have been played, as well as a much derided 2 sided practice match.  The reason these haven’t been reported yet?  See the password debacle above.

Thanks for reading.

Match Report (Game 5)

27 July 2014

by Ref Andrew F

The setting for the penultimate match of the first 3 sided football season was a brisk but sunny affair – a fine Melbourne winter morning, perfect for a game of football.

With several regular players away and some tardiness amongst some of the regulars, some significant team reshuffles occurred in order to get 4 adults and a child on each of the three teams however balance was finally reached. After previous matches with some injuries due to balls in the face, our referee gave a stern pre-match talking to all players about hard kicks above waist height – suggesting penalties may be given.

With that out of the way, the three teams took to their respective thirds and play commenced.









First Third:

The sunshine appeared to have brought with it enthusiasm and verve to the players with all teams fighting hard for possession and attacking both of their opponents fiercely. The All Sartres finally managed to get first blood against the Geometers however the Geometers quickly responded in kind bringing both teams to -1. The continued rivalry of these two teams was watched with amusement by the Pys who closed out the third in the lead.

Goals Scored:

AG: 1

Pys: 0

AS: 1


Atletico Geometry: -1

Pythagoras 3FC: 0

All Sartres: -1

Second third:

With the arrival of several more players the kids were relegated to substitute duty. Unfortunately this resulted in considerable discontent including a pitch invasion. Once the authorities (Damian) had sorted out the kids (took them off to play something else), play was resumed in earnest.

The Pys unbottled their trademark aggressive style of play, scoring four goals in rapid succession against the Geometers. However the Geometers teamed up with the Sartres to score four against the Pys in a remarkable display of allegiance building to apply pressure where it was needed.

Two goals required player and external review in order to determine their validity, one being awarded and one not being given – thus showing the need for a video referee and line refs to help professionalise the game.

As a result of the ongoing battle between the Pys and the Geometers, the All Sartres managed to concede a single goal as a result of an own handball deflecting into the goal.

Going into the break, it looked like it would be the Sartres match to lose, with the Geometers well out of the running.

Goals Scored:

AG: 1

Pys: 4

AS: 3


Atletico Geometry: -5

Pythagoras 3FC: -4

All Satres: -2

Third Third:

As the tired teams took to the field for the final third, there was much discussion between the Geometers and the Pys. The Sartres had looked comfortable in their position, only conceding a goal in each of the previous terms. The Sartres knew they were going to come under pressure so immediately deployed a tightly defensive formation.

At the whistle the Pys and Geometers attacked the Sartres hard, collaborating well and out-passing and running the harried Sartres.

Goals came rapidly. The Geometers and Pys both struck the Sartres hard, scoring four against them, levelling all of the teams once more. Realising they were back in contention for a win, the Geometers turned coat on their allies and put two away in the Pys goal. In the final moments the scores ended up level with -6 apiece.

The team allegiances fell apart as each team attempted attacks against each of their two opponents. In the dying seconds, a breakthrough was had by the Geometers against the Pys, forcing the Pys out of contention.

At the closing whistle, the Pys had lost, but who had won the match between the Geometers and the Sartres?

Goals Scored:

AG: 5

Pys: 2

AS: 1


Atletico Geometry: -6

Pythagoras 3FC: -7

All Satres: -6


Due to a tie between two teams, the winner is determined by the team who scored the most goals. All Sartres scored 5, Atletico Geometry scored 7.

Thus the winner of the match was Atletico Geometry, notching up their first win of the Winter 2014 season.

Match Report (Game 4)

Sunday 6 July 2014.
Another cold morning, another game of 3 sided football.
Atletico Geometry were without a win – could it finally be their morning?  The All Sartres with just one win were several members short, so their prospects didn’t seem great. Pythagoras, at the head of the table with 2 wins, the odds with them and almost their full team available, seemed the team most likely.
Andrew F had settled into his role as referee so well, that he began enforcing rules that nobody else knew existed.  Also, the goals suddenly appeared smaller than in previous games.  Was this tactical?  Who would it advantage?  Was Andrew F sick of so many goals being scored?  Was he suffering from RSI as he scribbled the scores down?
Boundaries were set (physically, metaphorically and, happily, metaphysically), corners and throw-ins explained and a Go Pro popped on Andrew’s head as a secondary source of rule enforcement.


First third

The first third played out slowly at first, the Pys defending well and both the Geometers and the Sartres managing to score impressive own goals.  The Pys scored the remaining 2 goals, and were not scored against.

Pys: 0
AG: -2
AS: -2
Pythagoras - the smiling assassins

Pythagoras – the smiling assassins

Second Third
The scores evened up in the second third, which included yet another own goal, this time to the Pys, and a much more evenly distributed scoring display, where each team scored against at least one of the others.
Lily went off midway through the term after Dick, her team mate, preposterously and blindly slammed the ball into her face.  The crowd, had there been one, would’ve let him know their disappointment, and his shame can only ever be underestimated.
Minutes later, Dick managed to slam the ball into another team mate’s face, this time Anthony, who had transferred from the Pys to the Sartres for this game, causing him to bite his tongue, his most potent weapon.
Meanwhile, for the Geometers, Lawrence scored his first goal – to much celebration.
Pys: -3
AG: -3
AS: -3
The All Sartres in All Lime.  What would Jean Paul say?

The All Sartres in All Lime. What would Jean Paul say?

Final Third
Early in the final term Anthony, looking for revenge, but misplacing it, managed to sail the ball into Damien’s face, causing a cut above the right eye where his glasses had embedded themselves.  He soldiered on without complaint, and contributed to a solid Pys’ defence.
At the close of the term, the Sartres had lost, but who had won?
Pys: -4
AG: -4
AS: -5
Professional in their uniforms, the Geometers are way ahead of the fashion pack

Professional in their uniforms, the Geometers are way ahead of the fashion pack

Well, this was our first tie. Under the rules, according to Andrew F,  ties are settled by the team
who scored the most goals. Own goals being discounted, this left the Pys with 5 and Atletico Geometry with 3.

The winners of round 4, therefore, were the Pys, despite the elegance of their opponents.  Probably justified actually, given the rough treatment dished out to Trevor of the Pys towards the end of the game by a maroon shirt who shall remain nameless.
Damien – eye
Lily – cheek
Anthony – tongue